Editor's Choice

Britain's stupidest statutes

Poll shows law making it illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament to be the dumbest piece of legislation in the nation

PHILIP JACKMAN

From Wednesday's Globe and Mail

November 7, 2007 at 4:45 AM EST

The law voted the third most ridiculous states that in Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical-fish store. (Brian Gable/The Globe and Mail)

If you're ever visiting the British Houses of Parliament, don't die. You could be arrested and thrown in jail, because dying in the mother of Parliaments is against the law.

This little-known and archaic piece of legislation has been voted Britain's stupidest law in a poll released yesterday by the television channel UKTV Gold.

It's also illegal to enter Parliament wearing a suit of armour. So, technically, if you die in Parliament while wearing a suit of armour - admittedly an unlikely scenario - you will have broken the law twice.

Other rules deemed utterly stupid in the survey, which the TV channel commissioned to publicize a legal drama, were ones that forbade taxi drivers from carrying rabid dogs or corpses and barred Londoners from keeping pigsties in front of their homes.

A law stating that in Liverpool only a clerk in a tropical-fish store is allowed to be publicly topless was also totally ridiculous, according to the 3,931 people polled, who were given a list of ridiculous laws and asked to vote on them.

The laws and regulations were culled from published research into ancient legislation that has never been repealed, although subsequent statutes have made them obsolete.

For instance, in the 17th century, the Puritan leader Oliver Cromwell ruled that mince pies, Christmas puddings and anything promoting gluttony should be banned at Christmas. The law has never been repealed, and nearly half of those surveyed happily admitted to breaking it.

Among international laws, the one voted most ridiculous was the legislation in Ohio making it illegal to get a fish drunk. Other foreign laws deemed irredeemably dumb included French legislation forbidding anyone from naming a pig Napoleon, a Florida law stipulating that unmarried women who parachute on Sundays could be jailed, and a Vermont ruling that women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

But before Canadians feel too smug, it should be noted that the Criminal Code still bans people from fighting duels or possessing stink bombs.

With a report from AFP

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Dumbest of the dumb: the Top 10

The Top 10 most ridiculous British laws, according to the survey:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down.

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless, unless she is a clerk in a tropical-fish store.

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day.

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet.

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail belongs to the Queen.

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing.

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour.

10. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.