The medieval price an author pays for insulting Thailand's monarchy

February 7, 2009

From the hell of his Bangkok prison cell, the writer Harry Nicolaides reveals the horror of his daily battle to survive.

We are woken at 6 and counted in the cell. Mine is 12 metres long and just over four metres wide, holding 50 or 60 prisoners, mostly Thais, mostly murderers and rapists. The cell has one toilet, which is a hole in the ground, and poor ventilation. I sleep in a face mask because tuberculosis and pneumonia are common. I've been in this jail for five months, since my arrest in September.

My book, Verisimilitude, was a rather clumsy first attempt at fiction - only 50 copies were printed and seven sold. I love Thailand and respect the royal family. It was never my intention to offend anyone.

For breakfast I have soy milk and a biscuit. The prisoners wash and shave around troughs covered in grime. The water is changed once a week. Then there's assembly. We stand to attention as the Thai flag is raised. We're asked to pray to a large gold Buddha. I use the time to collect my thoughts and think about my loved ones.

The guards make long speeches in Thai. I imagine they're about prison etiquette.

I'm then taken upstairs with other foreigners to clean another cell block.

After that we're at leisure for a while. I used to walk around, but I can't help but encounter the weak and the feeble - such as men with TB, languishing on benches. It deadens me. So I try to spend my time replying to the many letters I receive. Letters keep me alive.

We are allowed one 30-minute visit a day, but not on weekends or holidays. The hardest part is returning to my cell after a visit from family or friends. I break down when I think how they're suffering.

At 12 the lunch bell rings. The food is mostly fish bones in hot water, extremely spicy, with rice. I've tried it and felt unwell.

I can't afford to fall sick - the mental strain is enough - so my family send me some chicken and a salad every day.

There are 20 or 25 cats that run into the mess hall before the prisoners. Some men put cigarettes in the cats' mouths or do other unspeakable things to them.

I am barefoot most of my day. It is partly a security measure so we can't climb the electrified, barbed-wire fence, and partly custom. But the floors are covered with fish bones, saliva and cat vomit, so my feet are black.

I am led to court in shackles and chains. It's positively medieval. They're degrading and they bruise and lacerate the ankles. They make you feel you're guilty.

They say that it is easy to get to someone in a prison like this, so I am always on the alert.